Volume
Ten
Of
Mice and Mechanical Men
Chapter
One
In which Dodger gets some minor relief
Dodger
stared at Lelanea. She stared hard at him in return, each of them taken aback
by the doc’s outrageous suggestion. Marry Miss Lelanea? The thought was simply
absurd. Especially considering Boon was planning on doing just that thing when
he returned to his corporeal form.
Of
course, Dodger was the only one in the room that knew that.
“He
can’t be serious,” Dodger said.
“He
is,” Lelanea said. She gave him a curt smile.
Dodger
looked to the doc. “You can’t be serious, sir.”
“I’m
perfectly serious,” the doc said. “It’s a solid plan. I know I am not normally a
wellspring of such things, but I think in this case you will find the idea has
a solid foundation-”
“Sir,”
Dodger said over him. “It isn’t the solidity of it I question. It’s the, well,
the logic of it.”
“Logic?”
The doc wrinkled his nose.
“Logic?”
Lelanea echoed with a huff. “So marrying me would be illogical?”
Made
uncomfortable by her question, Dodger rubbed the back of his neck. “Now, ma’am,
that’s not what I meant.”
“Good,”
the doc said. “Because there is nothing wrong with the logistics of it. The
whole thing makes perfect sense.”
“Yes,
well,” Dodger said, “I must be missing out on something here. Because unless
you have some kind of machine or concoction that can speed things up quite a
bit, I don’t see how me marrying your niece is gonna get us any extra hands. If
you get my meaning.” Dodger furrowed his brow. “You do get my meaning, don’t
you, sir?”
The
doc pondered Dodger’s meaning for a brief moment, his gaze flitting back and
forth between the pair in question. A slow understanding crept upon the doc,
filling his wide eyes with utter horror as he realized exactly what Dodger’s meaning
really meant. “Oh, dear! Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. Not that. I don’t mean, you
know, that.”
“Then
what did you mean?” Dodger said.
“I
don’t mean what you thought I meant. At least, I don’t think I mean that.”
“I
don’t know what anyone means anymore,” Mr. Torque said.
“That’sh
what I wash gonna shay,” Ched said, crossing his arms.
The
doc continued to remain flustered by the mistaken proposition. He fanned
himself and puffed his cheeks. “Oh, my. Oh, dear. Why, the very idea of it. I
can’t … I don’t … I think I need to sit down.”
“You
are sitting down,” Torque said.
The
doc ran his hands across the arms of the chair he occupied, sighing in relief.
“Ah, good then. At least there’s that.”
“Uncle,”
Lelanea said. “Would you like for me to explain the way of things?”
“Must
you?” the doc said. He turned to her with a piteous look. “I mean, there are so
many others here. It’s embarrassing to think about, much less discuss.”
She
huffed. “I meant about your idea, you silly fool.”
“My
idea? Yes! Yes, please tell them about that, so we can get off of this
uncomfortable subject once and for all.”
Lelanea
cleared her throat and sat back, getting herself comfortable for what was sure
to be a long and detailed explanation. “Several years ago, shortly before I
joined the crew, Uncle struck a deal with a small town at the edge of what is
now the Idaho Territories. The town of Boulder Shadow.”
The
doc cut in atop her story, excitedly adding, “The name makes me think the town
lies in the path of a giant boulder. Why would someone want others to think
they set up a town in the shadow of doom like that? Foolishness, if you ask me.”
She
cut him a frustrated look. “Do you want to tell it, or shall I?”
“Oh
no, by all means, please continue.” The doc clasped his hands across his belly
and beamed at her.
“As
I was saying, Uncle sold the ladies and gentlemen of Boulder Shadow a certain-”
“Mostly
gentlemen,” the doc said over her. “Actually, it was all gentlemen. Well, not
gentlemen per say. They were really a bunch of ruffians and roustabouts and I’m
doing it again, aren’t I?” He went quiet as he grinned at his niece.
She
did not grin in return.
“What
did he sell them?” Dodger asked.
“A
mechanical man,” Lelanea said. “In fact, it was the prototype for Mr. Torque.”
“Me?”
Mr. Torque said with a gasp of surprise. “I was assured I was one of a kind.”
“You
are,” the doc said. “No one has your attitude, ineptitude, platitude or various
other tudes that make you so useless.”
“You
forgot my beatitude,” Torque said.
The
doc growled, annoyed by his manservant’s sassy backtalk. “I wished you had more
gratitude.”
“To
go with your ineptitude?”
“Keep
that up and I’ll introduce you to a whole new altitude, when I throw you from
the roof of this train!”
Dodger
balled a fist to keep from hollering at the group to focus.
“Y’all
are funny,” Sarah said with another giggle, breaking the tension.
“They
sure are,” Dodger said. “We know what makes Torque unique, so what is special
about this mechanical man?”
“Unlike
Mr. Torque,” the doc said, “the Pneumatic Automatic Universal Lumberjack was
built for manual labor, not the delicate work of a butler.”
“You
mean the delicate work of folding your under things?” Torque said.
Sarah
smiled wide. “I like him.”
“Oh,
my.” Mr. Torque touched his hand to his chest in a dramatic shock. “Well, I
like you too, young lady.”
The
doc ignored the exchange. “I created PAUL to help the men of Boulder Shadow
clear the forest surrounding their chosen home. It was one of my first
contracts when I arrived on these shores.
The summer of ’66 I believe.”
“And
you want to, what, take it back?” Dodger said.
“Well,
buy it back, yes.”
“Why?”
“PAUL
is over nine feet of solid iron and steel, and nearly as wide. He was designed
to lift and carry thousands of pounds on a regular basis. Think of the extra
power such a thing could provide.”
Dodger’s
hands went to the ladies at his hips. “Not that I don’t appreciate the offer of
help, but I’ve got all the power I need. Triple rounds in my hands are enough
to put any mutt in his place.”
“I
have no doubt of your extraordinary talent, Mr. Dodger. Your gift with a gun
has saved us time and time again. Yet from what our little friend here tells
us, you’re going to need all of the help you can muster when it comes time to
face your arch nemesis.”
Dodger
looked to the young girl.
“Rex
didn’t think I saw it, but I did,” she said.
“What
did you see?” Dodger said.
“He
thought I was already asleep, but I wasn’t. I fought that medicine he gave me.
I fought it really good and stayed up as long as I could.”
“You
did an excellent job,” Lelanea said. “Now, tell Dodger what you told us.”
A
look of distress overcame the girl. “Do I gotta tell all of it again?”
Lelanea
smiled softly. “Tell us what you can, and we will fill out the gaps. Can you do
that?”
“I
can.” Sarah turned to Dodger again. “Mr. Dodger, that doggy kept me tied down
to a cot in the corner of his flying ship, and I pretended to be asleep but I
peeked when I knew he weren’t paying me any mind. I saw all kinds of drawings
and pictures all pinned up on a big board.”
“Which
explainsh how she learned of hish compound,” Ched added.
“What
else did you see?” Dodger said.
“Something
awful,” Sarah said, her face falling into worry. “Rex was arguing with some stranger.
I couldn’t see the man’s face but he kept calling Rex a fool for trying to take
on the US Army.”
“The
Army?” Dodger asked.
The
doc held his hand up, signaling for Dodger to let the girl finish her tale.
“But
Rex said he couldn’t lose because he had a secret weapon,” she said. “Something
that could take down one hundred men without breaking a sweat. I didn’t know
what he meant at first, then I saw it. Something big and hairy and scary. He
set it on the stranger. The poor feller tried to run, but … that thing … it
caught him … and … and …” Sarah’s eyes welled with tears as she hung her head,
unable to finish the story.
Lelanea
pulled the weeping Sarah to her, cradling the child in her arms.
****
NEXT UP:
CHAPTER TWO
SECRET WEAPON
In which Dodger needs to up the ante
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